Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Nature of Dread

Dread may come less from the unknown than from the known.

Since we found out the diagnosis of Baby Tito, we have known that surgery was part of his future. The little boy of joy would have to go an ordeal of surgeons, intensive care, and weeks of recovering. We have known it was coming. Until yesterday, we had on idea as to when. Now, after speaking with the surgeon, we know that as well. We know it will be around his first birthday, late March or early April.

Tito smiled as a team of doctors came. He knows no dread about what is coming, only the dread of delayed milk. We, his parents, know the dread of what is ahead.

Kindness and love come in small gestures. Tito's medical team is every thing right about our Health Care system. The surgeon calmly explained what was to be expected. He was followed by a cadre of visiting Doctors from around the world. They, even as some lack the language to express, gave us glances of compassion. As Surgeon explained where the incision was going and what he and his colleague do to rebuild the eye socket and readjust Tito's brain, Tito dropped his binky. The nurse noticed, picked it up and wash it. I knew Tito is in good hands. Kindness has a power.

We have prayed since we knew what was coming became more in focus. Baby Tito will have hours of surgery. Jesus is real in these moments of life. Dread is knowing what is coming. Jesus is real in these moments of dread, in these moments of the cross, in these moments of Grace. Hope is knowing we are placed in nail punctured hands.

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